


Nightmares make people b*tchy

by silver_mayo



Category: Gintama
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Established Relationship, Lots of Cursing, Love Bites, M/M, Mention of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-11-02 03:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20601785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_mayo/pseuds/silver_mayo
Summary: Gintoki hasn't seen Hijikata in awhile, and nightmares make him realized he misses the v-bang.





	1. Napping in public makes people complain.

**Author's Note:**

> this is purely self-indulgent. there would be a lot of mistakes in all possible aspects, btw im editing this using grammarly.. please forgive me for the lack of quality.

Maybe it was a mistake, but how was it a mistake? He has done it countless of times but why was it, on that uneventful day, that he took his usual nap in the middle of reading a suspenseful Jump’s shounen fight scene, that would soon be revealed that the power of friendship can save anything within the reach of the main character; did he have that dream?

No. 

It was not just a _dream._

It was a nightmare. 

It was the start of the most miserable few weeks (or was it months? He was not sure himself) of his godforsaken life. He wondered if he was deprived of a certain Shinsengumi Vice-Commander, who he has not met for a while. Though, Gintoki refused to accept that. 

Waking up made him so confused and disoriented, his chest felt tight and he didn’t miss the pulsing inside his head. It was a stupid dream. It was not his usual nightmare that was for sure. It was the first day. He let it slide, swung his legs to step on the wooden floor, felt his weight grounded and exhaled a breath. 

It was a long day ahead.

Nighttime fell before he even realizes it, and before he even knew it, he agreed with Madao to go to pachinko and then have some drinks. 

And by some.. he meant a _LOT_ of it.

Before the peak of the sun about to rise, he managed to drag his ass home and fall flat on the wooden floor after unsuccessfully kicking one of his boot off his right leg then proceeded to give up on the left one. He heard Sadaharu’s massive footsteps and Kagura’s offhand insults that had gone over his head, but he continued to sleep anyway. 

The days went by fast. The dream— no. The nightmare becomes more and more intense day by day. It was unforgiving, well, at least to his mental and emotional being. 

One night, it got unbearable for poor Gintoki, the silver-haired samurai jolted awake with the most intense urgency to meet with Hijikata. His heart beats so damn fast he had to put a hand on his chest to make sure it did not jump out. A part of him wanted to go to the barracks and see Hijikata for himself but that would be a reckless move because Gintoki knew Hijikata wouldn’t be there. He hasn’t seen Hijikata patrolling his usual routes, so the mayora must’ve been having an undercover work or a stakeout, probably both. That was what he managed to come up after he has not seen Hijikata around on the streets after the first time he got the nightmare. 

He staggered to his telephone, noticing how cold his hand was, trembling as he spun the numbers. He did not know what to expect, he did not expect anything, he knew how busy that bastard was, hell, that mayo freak might not even able to answer his phone. But Gintoki prayed to whatever Gods or demons alike, he desperately needed to hear the raven-haired voice. He waited, then try to call the number when it failed to connect to the end of the line. 

Again, 

and _again_. 

Gintoki held himself back from slamming the telephone, but he sure as hell holding the receiver in a vice grip that amazed even himself it did not break. His right forefinger and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose, then he dragged himself to the toilet to wash his face with cold water to ease whatever tension he was feeling. 

Morning came, like any other morning and it somewhat pissed him off. How dare the sun rose like it has got nothing else to do than to annoy poor Gin-san who was not able to take a wink of sleep last night? The strawberry milk he has been trying to ration for the week, ends up finished in a minute. The worst part? Gintoki was not able to savor every moment of sweetness because he was so damn restless. 

“Gin-chan!! Do you hear what I said!? Gin-chaan!!!,” Kagura yelled slapping Gintoki across the room.

“What the- what are you bitching about the first thing in the morning? What do you want? Did you say something? Just say it properly I am not deaf yet!” Gintoki yelled back, groaning when heard a crack in his bones. He was not sure where but he was sure his brain had suffered internal bleeding. 

“No! You were hearing but you weren’t listening! I told you we don’t have anything for breakfast today! The best heroine is growing up fast she needs proper nourishment!”

“What!? You had egg on rice just now how was it not a goddamn breakfast?!”

“You uncultured swine! How can you call that breakfast! That was just the entree! A beautiful girl like me needs a whole meal!”

“Who do you think we are! We can’t afford that much! The entree is the goddamn food—“ Gintoki was about to produce a whole rant when Shinpachi rudely cuts him off. 

“Gin-san! Are you awake yet? We’re late for work!” They heard Shinpachi stomping from the doorframe, shuffling of feet to shuck off his shoes.

“Shinpachi! Gin-chan is an incompetent old man, he refuses to feed me!” Kagura immediately complained, her hands crossed on her chest.

“Well, we need to work if you want to be fed and for the record, we also ran out of toilet papers so we need to finish this job so our mornings could be better!” Shinpachi tried, plastering the I-am-trying-to-be-positive smile on his face.

“How to work when poor grandma here did not have her breakfast yet?” whined Kagura, patting her tummy and making a sad face towards Shinpachi. 

“We could have beef for dinner if we take up this job right now, Kagura,” Shinpachi said, fixing his glasses as if he had just said something intelligent. 

“Gin-chan let’s go! Hurry up you lazy ass piece of shit!”

Gintoki was not able to say a word when Kagura took him by the collar and dragged him down.

It was going to be another long day. A small part of him wished that his brain would ease off with the horrific imagery of his unusual nightmare, and they set off to work.

A month passed, things that happened were pretty uneventful and they acquired enough money to last another month if he did not blow it all on pachinko. He stopped searching for Hijikata every time he hit the streets. Although, the nightmare just appear less frequently, and he cherished the nights when he was too worn out that his sleep was dreamless. 

Gintoki was glad that Kagura and Shinpachi did not comment on his peculiar behavior, or even if they notice it, they did not pester him all that much. He did not think that it really affects his usual whims on a good day, and after a while, he learned to get used to it, as he did with his other nightmares. At least those got old that he was able to drink it away. But this one, in particular, he had to learn to just see it through that it becomes monotonous and tiring, like that one song that was played one too many times on the damn radio that made you want to kill anyone in the radius when you hear it repeating on air a hundred times a day.

His kids would blame it on sugar deficiency, as he would, so he did not mind it much. He was always sugar deficient, they weren’t wrong at all. If only they were good kids and bought him pudding or extra strawberry milk cartons to help with his odd behavior, but he did not (cannot) ask for much. 

On a particularly hot night, it got worse. Gintoki thought what he has seen was already worse, but it seemed his mind liked to poke fun of his skull, and he thought about flying would be faster but he was running in that dream. He was running but his whole body was heavy, a thick liquid suffocating his lungs, there was bitterness in his throat, a saline taste on his tongue. 

He can hear screaming. Loud screaming. And crying. Heavy panting and the sound of skin against skin. Then he saw the familiar figure, unconscious in a tangled mess on a futon, his whole body bruised and filled with unidentifiable marks everywhere, previous scars became unbarred with new raw angry marks. The man seems to be floating until Gintoki noticed all the chains and leather ropes tying every limb of his body. Gintoki's throat felt like he was shoved a whole bag of sand of the Sahara. He can hear someone calling for his name, he saw a chestnut-colored hair with an echoing chuckle. 

“_Do you like what you see, Danna_?”

His ear was ringing, Gintoki was panting and his whole body drenched in cold sweat. He searched for the Justaway alarm clock, but it was not even vibrating in his hands. It was not even ringing. And the time was a quarter past four.

_He needed a goddamn walk_.

Gintoki changed into his staple clothes, wore his boots, and watched Sadaharu, the gigantic dog, stood by the doorframe, which was anticipating something from him. Gintoki turned, giving the white-furred dog a scratch on his head, a tired smile, “I’ll be back. Watch over Kagura for me,” he whispered, then went out.

It was fifteen minutes before eight when he arrived home, the walk did not help anything with his troubles, and it only manages to put him on the edgiest of edge, and he wished he could jump off whatever stupid ledge so it would stop. 

Gintoki was about to take a nap on the sofa when he heard Shinpachi barged in with a too cheerful_ ‘Good Morning’_. 

“Oh God! Gin-san! You are already awake! How surprising,” the surprise in Shinpachi's voice felt like mockery on behalf of Gintoki, but the older man decided to not say anything about it.

Kagura opened the closet door, stretching and yawning. “Yeah, how surprising. Where is mommy’s breakfast you useless scum?” she said, rubbing off the sleep from her eyes. 

“Mummy who? A mummy does not have an ugly bed hair like that,” Gintoki supplied dismissively. 

“Oi, why are you being rude to mommy? Do you want her to teach you a lesson, kid?” Kagura squinted her eyes, letting out an obvious '_tch_'.

“Guys, we got some work today. Did you forget Gin-san?”

“What? Is it searching for someone’s pet again? Why do these people even have tiny pets if they cannot even keep an eye on them? And let them out and freely eat people’s food? We people need to survive too we can’t all give some strays food! There will be none for us!”

“That’s why we have to find these pets Gin-san.. so that they won’t eat our food instead.”

“Let him be Shinpachi, rude boys have dull brains they only think about themselves and never considers mommy’s well being when she is on her deathbed counting hours to her death,”

“Dull brains? I’m considering your bottomless pit is what old man Gin-chan is saying right here—,”

“The more we argue the farther the cat goes and we won’t be able to have our dinner on time. Big sis would shove her special menus and we will have food poisoning instead if that’s what you guys want.”

Both Kagura and Gintoki did not want that to happen, henceforth they went out after having some breakfast to find some cat that they end up picking up some lookalike stray and gave it to the owner at the end of the day.

Though the day did not only just consisting of finding some cat, that would be uneventful as always. It was what made Gintoki decided, the circumstances that he had found himself in, in the middle of taking a break of finding the goddamn cat. Maybe his prayers were answered, because the owner did not even complain that it was not, in fact, their own cat, but some stray they switched instead. If anyone ever criticizes his questionable priorities, it would be the role of the straight-man, but that did not matter in the least.

Did Gintoki mention how _hot_ it was that day? It was hot that day, and they had to run around to find this cat, that Gintoki forgot how it looked like after an hour of searching. He lost his sample of the cat’s picture half-hour of searching, lost sight of his kids in the second hour, then decided to take a quick (_read: procrastinating_) nap at the park in the third hour. 

The sun was bright, the flare of light burnt his skin until he felt a shadow loomed over his face, that for a second there he hoped it would rain so he can just skip the job and get back home than face the impending wrath from his kids. 

Gintoki pulled his arm off his eyes that were shielding them from the sun, then an intense gaze of a certain v-bangs met his. He almost forgot how those eyes looked like and meeting them after two whole months, he remembered then how freezing those eyes made him, but nothing unpleasant. 

“If you are going to take a nap here, maybe consider having it at your own house. People are complaining and I can arrest you for being a public nuisance.” the man said, voice deep and hoarse, popping out another cancer stick and lighting it once it dangled in between his lips. 

Gintoki closed his eyes, both hands were resting on his body, his left hand tucked inside his yukata. “You were gone for a while,” he stated indifferently. But nothing in those words was indifferent. Gintoki knew the officer noticed.

The raven-haired observed Gintoki, the sugar freak did not reply to him as Hijikata expected he would, he couldn’t miss the distant tone in it.

“It’s work.” came Hijikata’s curt reply. 

He knew he just stated the obvious, but it was his own way trying to ignore the ice-drop feeling inside his stomach, listening to the silver-haired samurai’s voice the first time in a while. It surprised him. He had wanted to reply with something, the words were on the tip of his tongue, but it didn’t feel right. Something did not feel right. Something was wrong, but it wasn’t at the same time.

Gintoki suddenly sat up, stretched his back a bit and then immediately relaxed, looking something faraway. His eyebrows crunched in the middle for a split second, before it was replaced with his usual slack face. He picked his nose with his pinky.

“You owe two months worth of parfaits, a payment for barraging my mind almost every night it disrupts Gin-san’s precious beauty sleep, Oogushi-kun,” he said with a monotonous voice, flicking off his booger somewhere from his pinky. Gintoki watched it disappear.

Hijikata frowned, he looked at that permy hair, thinking. A trail of smoke was released to the air. Hijikata watched it disappear.

“Not my fault that you keep thinking of me,” 

Hijikata felt those dead eyes on him, so he looked back. They stared at each other for a hot minute, when suddenly Gintoki stood, taking Hijikata’s hand with the one he had put inside his yukata, and pull Hijikata with him.

“W- Wait, Yorozuya. Wh- where are you taking me?? Oi, oi, Yorozuya! Do you hear me?” 

Hijikata tried to wriggle out his hand from Gintoki’s grip, only for the latter to tighten his hold even more. “Just.. shut up,” his reply was uncharacteristically unlike the Gintoki that Hijikata knew, it felt like the role was reversed and he worried for a moment if someone was messing with their souls again, but the last time he checked he had woken up in his own room and his colleagues did not mention anything weird about him. 

Gintoki brought him into some shady alleyway, hidden from the bustling streets, away from people’s judging eyes. Gintoki did not waste any more seconds when he felt they were finally safe from people’s view. He immediately pulled Hijikata into a tight hug, burying his face in those straight locks that smelled heavily of nicotine and sweat. 

It took a couple of seconds for Hijikata to process what just happened, and for him to return the hug with little comprehension with a spike of worry towards the perm-head.

_ Just what happened when he was gone? _

It did not take long for Hijikata to settle in their shared warmth, he carefully closes his eyes, a hand ruffled through a fluff of curly hair, he took in the scent he had longed for the past few months and found himself missing the sweet smell that Gintoki always had. His fingers curled, feeling the familiar built and the soft curls of hair under his touch, not counting the minutes passed in the real world. 

“I wasn’t gone that long, though,” Hijikata whispered into Gintoki’s ears, not exactly understanding why he just said that, but he had the intention of wanting to give Gintoki a sense of comfort that he was not exactly sure if the latter needed it.

They just stayed that way for a while, until Hijikata’s comms started blinking and crackled with noise, the man at the end of the line spoke, voice bored. _“Hijikata-san… Hijikata-san… where are you at? Are you skipping work? Are you planning to die? I could help and give you a nice painful death if you want_.” 

Hijikata was about to break away and answer the comms, but Gintoki was quick to catch his wrist, stopping him. Gintoki’s head was still on his shoulder, Hijikata could feel the other hand was clenching his jacket, he held that position for a moment. Hijikata did not dare to even move, he just lets Gintoki have his way, and he waited. Hijikata could feel the unspoken words were too damn loud in the not-so-quiet alleyway, the atmosphere was tense in a way that Hijikata was unable to predict Gintoki’s next move. A moment was too long but too fast when it ended, Gintoki released him. He looked away, away from Hijikata’s curious eyes. The chain-smoker had his eyes on the sugar freak, noting the ignorable tension in the air as he answered the comms. 

He shifted his legs, feeling crimson eyes monitoring his movement, but not feeling them to be judging or criticizing him. They were just there. Watching Hijikata quietly, while simultaneously scratching the back of his head and his stomach.

“I am still on patrol, taking some complaints from some woman about a public nuisance. Where are you? Are you eating?”

“_Hmm??_” Hijikata heard chewing. “_I am not eating, I am working Hijikata-san, can’t you hear me_?” then the longest patronizing slurp of noodles. 

“Sougo, are you having ramen?”

“_I am not, I am having udon_.”

“We haven’t finished patrolling,”

“_God, Hijikata-san is your ass so tight? Everyone needs to loosen up their hole once in a while, not everyone is a workaholic like you Hijikata-san._.”

“WHO ARE YOU TELLING TO LOOSEN UP A HOLE!? IT IS SEPPUKU FOR YOU WHEN I FOUND YOU, YOU _LITTLE-_”

“_I told you_,” a slurp,

“_I am working_,” another slurp, 

“_I’ll help you slice your guts okay? Sit still, government dog_,” Sougo cuts off, leaving a pissed and irritated Hijikata at the end of the line.

As if on cue, Gintoki spoke, “Sorry to keep you, you’re free to rob more taxes, I’ve got to go.” 

“I’ll come by tonight,” Hijikata said quickly after Gintoki turned his back on him. 

His back relaxed a bit, then he gave Hijikata a backhand wave, before walking away, stepping back into the streets.

Hijikata watched him go, then sighed to himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and lit a stick of cigarette to calm his nerves. He did not know how to ask, and it was not something that Hijikata would normally do, hell, they both were mutually lacking in this communicating department because they just sort of... Did not question, and just do whatever that felt right, it was what they were both to each other, they do not question. 

People say that action speaks louder than words, and their actions really did speak louder than words, hence why Gintoki’s mannerisms bothered him. He’d request a day off for the day after, most of his paperwork was done anyways, and he decided to go on patrol that day was because he wanted to see the Yorozuya, but he was not going to admit that out loud. 

Hijikata was worried, he knew something was off, wondered if he could make Gintoki talk to him, or at least, in his own way, let Hijikata figure it out what the hell was bothering that man. He would do whatever it takes to elevate Gintoki’s burdens, he knew that sugar-filled brain has a lot in his head, and some of those weren’t pretty memories. He did not mind if he cannot do much, he would only do the ones that Gintoki allowed him to, and even that would be enough.


	2. Swearing does not make you any smarter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki was not waiting for Hijikata. (He absolutely did.)  
Then, they f*ck. Twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a smut chapter. lmao. good luck

It was almost midnight or a few minutes after midnight. It was late and no, Gintoki wasn’t waiting.

He definitely was not waiting for Hijikata to come and ring the bell of his house.

He absolutely did not wait for Hijikata to come.

Gintoki had not been able to fall asleep, but it was not because he can’t stop thinking about the dream, (<strike>about Hijikata</strike>), about how he had tried so damn hard to hold himself back from crushing Hijikata’s comms when he heard _that bastard’_s voice.

He had been fidgety, and he had the idea of going out and use _some _of the money they got from work for some booze to calm his nerves.

Besides, he had already finished the last carton of strawberry milk. Although, deep down he knew that nothing could really help this internal suffering until he saw the man himself. Because all that effort of trying to get rid of the terrifying edge was futile. He may not do much, but nothing could help him forget his dream.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried anything _at all._ He had gone to work, accept even the stupidest requests in hopes he has worn himself out to the bone that he cannot even walk straight. Booze made the dreams worse, and he’d like to not try that again. He may not remember it much, but it would be as vivid as ever because he would wake up in cold sweat the morning after. 

He tried shutting his eyes and count Justaways flipping and exploding one by one, that didn’t work. He tried to imagine Ketsuno Ana’s soft smiles and her lilting musical voice that would greet him every morning but even that didn’t help. He tried counting how many times Sadaharu shits in a day, but nothing works.

He was sort of glad he had baited Kagura to go to Otae’s because Gintoki was not sure if he would be able to hold himself back when Hijikata arrived. Every time his mind thought of the demon vice commander, he would also be reminded of how the sadist had marked Hijikata’s body all over. He couldn’t help but be reminded of the fucking nightmare, of Hijikata breaking under the sadist’s touch, of Hijikata submitting to that goddamn chestnut head kid. 

That said sadist was just a kid. He literally got nothing over Gintoki. Gintoki acknowledged that the brat has some remarkable sword fighting skills, rivaling even himself, hell, even Hijikata knew the said prodigy’s abilities. Sure he was aware of that, but, like??? 

Still. 

Gintoki also has a lot of redeemable qualities! 

He’s the main character for God’s sake! 

The first on the popularity poll! 

Plus, he knew that it was not logical because he knew those two have somewhat a familial relationship, and that their bond wasn’t any much different than what he has with Kagura, Shinpachi, and Otae. 

That chestnut head kid was like an asshole brother that hated the older brother’s gut, which, was pretty understandable of how annoyingly workaholic despite having a questionable food preference a certain demon vice-commander can be. The v-bang would look like he is The Shit but then proceeds to ruin everything with his insurmountable amount of dog shit that even made Sadaharu unable to stomach. And the gigantic dog is a dog that eats almost everything in existence. 

But none of the voice of reason that he tried to talk himself out of the nightmare seemed to work because he felt like he only knew to some extent, and the other dangerous waters weren’t his to venture and he didn’t like that.

Said dangerous water being that, what if for some fucked up reason, they did not see each other that way? What if in actuality behind his back that they had been.. doing SM shit? The Shinsengumi quarters must have a lot of torture materials to do the deed. They have that torture interrogation room for god’s sake. Gods, deities, and demons everywhere know what they can do in the room. 

You cannot trust a sadist’s brain, he knew that much as he was a fellow S himself. People have weird-ass kinks and fetishes, what if the shithead liked old men instead? What if all that talk about wanting to kill his superior was all talk, and that the fact the word ‘killing’ was used to be made for Hijikata to submit to him instead? He has seen how women had submitted to the sadistic bastard, not knowing how the hell that kid even manages to manipulate them to eat dog shit for him. It was surreal! His concerns were legitimate and he knew it! 

So what if these thoughts fuelled his nightmares to become worse and worse? What if the kid manages to mind break Hijikata to lick his shit not bothering using toilet papers? What if every night he made Hijikata do all his paperwork and then Hijikata did not settle it on time and he received a punishment? What if said punishment was making Hijikata seek for him subconsciously—

God damn it, he really cannot stop thinking about it.

He knew it was out of his character to think of sorts, but the possessive part of him felt so dominant that he couldn’t help it. He just realized how much he wanted Hijikata for himself, how much he wanted everything that Hijikata was for him. He wanted to have all the things Hijikata didn’t show to anyone else to him, he wanted a part of Hijikata that he didn’t know if he deserved. It was so selfish but he was not a stranger to that feeling. Although these kinds of emotions were confusing and complicated, he was not used to these kinds of feelings. He never had to think this much of someone, what they would think, and being anxious for not knowing what the other was thinking.

Maybe his mind was already exhausted and he didn’t really realize it when almost slumber came to him, that made him jolted awake when he heard the bell rings.

It took him a few seconds to collect himself, trying to keep cool and not looking like he was desperate or like he was waiting. He just didn’t want to give Hijikata the idea that Gintoki waited for him, like, that would be ridiculous, Gintoki was not waiting, he was just having painstakingly terrible problems to sleep, alright.

He waited until the bell stopped ringing, then he got up and walk towards the door, trying to act nonchalant the best that he can, scratching his stomach and his head, yawning at the same time. He just couldn't help the latter he really was tired. 

Gintoki slid the door open, peeling his lids wider. He was about to say something but his voice won’t come out. Gintoki leaned against the door frame, waiting for Hijikata to say something instead. Of which he did. 

“You’re already asleep? Sorry to wake you. I just got off from work,” Hijikata spoke, and Gintoki noticed how exhausted he sounded, there were deep eye bags under his eyes, and his hair was disheveled. He had changed his attire, not having those horribly suffocating stupid cravat and those unnecessary uniforms, instead, he was in his day off black yukata that look suspiciously a dark ugly green color. 

Gintoki took a step back, allowing Hijikata to enter the house. “Sorry to intrude,” muttered Hijikata when Gintoki was closing and locking the door. Told you, he was not himself. He never locks the goddamn door but tonight he did. It was of no use anyway, and Sarutobi would just crack open a roof plane to get inside. Gladly she was not here tonight, he really had been alone all this while it seems.

“It’s alright,” he waved his right hand dismissively and shook his head a little. 

“China girl isn’t here tonight?” Hijikata noted when he didn’t hear any soft snoozing sounds from the closet door.

“She went to Shinpachi’s.” came the short reply.

When Gintoki replied, he wasn't looking at Hijikata, and his replies were irritating to hear, and it pissed off the raven-haired.

He followed Gintoki to his room, he pulled Gintoki’s wrist to stop him from moving. “What’s the matter? Are you all alright? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened. I’m just really tired,” Gintoki said, looking at Hijikata’s hand holding his wrist. He was still not meeting Hijikata’s eyes. 

Hijikata frowned, irritated and worried at the same time. He decided to take matters into his own hands, resorting to a physical gesture, so he just pulled Gintoki closer to him, holding his face with his free hand, and guide those crimson eyes to look at him.

Those steel ocean eyes were intense as ever, and Gintoki missed it so much. When Hijikata’s expression softens a bit from whatever emotion Gintoki did not bother to be kept hidden, Gintoki’s heart followed.

He was not in control of his body, not anymore when Hijikata pulled Gintoki’s hand and put it on his waist, and then he had both of his warm hands on the sides of Gintoki’s cheeks, forehead and the tip of their noses touching. Hijikata shut his eyes with a faint crease in between his eyebrows, inhaling the scent of the other, and opened his eyes again. 

“Can I kiss you?” The whisper of Hijikata’s voice was hoarse, something lumped in his throat but he couldn’t get it out. The concern in his eyes was so raw, it made Gintoki reaching out and pulled them together, leaned closer. Finally, he closed the distance between them.

They kissed until their lungs suffocate. They heaved in large amounts of air and continued to kiss each other. Gintoki’s hand roamed on Hijikata’s body, every touch of skin burned the tip of his fingers. Gintoki brought both of the man’s toned legs to cross at the back of his waist and carried the other man to lay on the futon. Every kiss became more and more desperate to get to every inch of the man under him, he just couldn’t get enough of Hijikata. Gintoki’s nails lightly scratched the raven-haired scalp, pulling his hair so that he could gain access to Hijikata’s neck. He kept going back to the same patch of skin, lapping and nipping and biting just to get rid of the (inexistent) mark of the sadist from his own mind. Hijikata was panting heavily when he reached out to Gintoki and guided those swollen lips to his own. 

Gintoki's fingers found Hijikata’s entrance but stopped in the middle of the kiss. “You’ve prepped? I see someone’s excited,” He teased, a smile against Hijikata’s lips. If Hijikata heard the tiny crack in his voice, the officer did not comment on it. 

“Shut up,” The steel blue-eyed man groaned as Gintoki slipped in a finger as they kiss again. It didn’t take long before Hijikata’s eyes became glossy, his nails scratched the skin just below Gintoki’s shoulder. 

“Hurry up,” Hijikata panted, voice strained. 

“Yeah, I’m going in,” Gintoki breathed down on Hijikata’s neck, a soft moan escaped Hijikata as a cue.

Something was definitely wrong. The silver perm was more delicate than usual but still rough and desperate, everything that was not the usual Gintoki that he knew. The way he moved, the places he touched and kissed were... different. Hijikata was not able to think clearly, but he was damn sure Gintoki was marking him in all the places that even Hijikata never would’ve never even thought of. Every inch of him was not missed to be nipped and bitten, and the silver permed man had the audacity to sound satisfied and watching Hijikata’s expressions. Usually, they would just fuck and get it over with, but this particular night Gintoki took his own sweet time to explore every centimeter, every cervices on Hijikata’s body, making sure he did not miss a thing. 

Their breath came to a hitch as they both came in unison, having Hijikata gripping on Gintoki’s hair while the latter had bitten somewhere along his neck and shoulder, crimson trickled out from the wound, painting the silver man’s lips red. Hijikata lets out a long moan, a mix between immeasurable pleasure mixed in with an unnoticed pain, he was not sure himself.

They took some time to catch their breaths, and when Gintoki pulled out, wiping off the iron taste on his lips and about to kiss Hijikata again, he got a brutal smack on the back of his head instead.

“What the fuck!? Why did you hit me!???? Gin-san did nothing wrong!” he jumped back, both hands on his head. He had the audacity to pout and look offended.

“What the fuck, _WHAT THE FUCK_!? You fucking bit my fucking neck! What’s that all about you natural perm fuck! It’s literally bleeding and you think your nasty spit would heal it!? What were you thinking?!” Hijikata yelled back, a palm on the bite, feeling warm liquid slowly pouring out from the wound. 

“Wh - I di-“ Gintoki was about to protest but immediately come to a pause when he saw Hijikata covering his neck with his palm, and realized it /was definitely, positively/ bleeding.

He suddenly became quiet, and the light in his eyes shifted, as he stood, picking up his boxers. “I’ll find something for that.” He spoke, turning towards the doorframe, away from Hijikata’s scrutinizing, physically pained eyes. 

Hijikata didn’t reply, because he quite obviously did not know how to react to that, so he caught Gintoki’s wrist, yet again. “Oi, Yorozuya. Don't you hear me?”

“It’s going to get infected—“

It was bullshit they both know it, Hijikata called for it, they both knew that it was not anything serious, nothing Hijikata couldn’t handle. Hell, they’ve been through it so many times, even death was bored looking at their faces, even hell doubted to accept them. Though, Hijikata just couldn’t understand what the hell was going on? 

Gintoki was not being his usual self, not that his usual self was anything pleasant either, but it was better than this.. distant attitude he has been giving Hijikata. It was getting annoying because he knew he was being avoided and ignored purposefully. Why can’t he just say that he did not want to talk about it? He’d understand, but this was not about that. This was something else, something stupid perhaps that even triggered the undignified samurai he has come to know. 

That perm head did not care about dignity, he was even careless about honor, so it must be something trivial. Though, if it bothered Gintoki so much, why was it hard for him to say anything? To give Hijikata a hint? A clue maybe, to at least give something for Hijikata to understand. He did not seem to not want to talk about it, Hijikata was not sure why he had the hunch either, but it felt on point to the situation. 

Hijikata was not able to comprehend why was he even bothered, but Gintoki, if he has any problems that he was unable or just refuses to share he actually was more skilled to have those burdens all locked up inside his empty shell of a brain. No one could even guess what he has in his head, but this one, he has been giving Hijikata signals that made the loudest alarm blared in Hijikata’s mind with worry. He suspected that it must have something to do with Hijikata himself, and Gintoki refused to shed light on the problem. 

So yes, it bothered Hijikata. 

Hijikata was determined to pester him for answers and he didn’t care, he needed to know, at least to some extent.

“It’s nothing but are you really alright? Is something the matter?” Not something the usual Hijikata would ask, but desperate times call for desperate measures perhaps. 

Gintoki turned and look at Hijikata for a bit, then he crouched to capture the officer’s lips. “Do you want to wash up together? We can have another round while cleaning that up you know.’’

A visible bulge of vein popped on the raven-haired temple, he pushed the jerk-ass face away from his face and stood. Gintoki smirked under his palm, holding his wrist when he tried to take it back. “Or do you want me to carry you? It’s been a while since we do it, I’m sure you back isn’t exactly forgiving?’’

Hijikata tried to hide the blush creeping up his face, he slapped Gintoki’s cheek and took his hand back. “Just find some disinfectant, I can’t deal with you, damn pervert.”

...that was cute.

He really was goddamn whipped for Hijikata and he wasn’t even sorry for himself.

Seeing Hijikata getting annoyed at him (for a good reason) just amused him and he just couldn't stop smiling.

When Hijikata came back, with a towel around his waist and still damp hair, he was breath-taking as he ever was and maybe it was because Gintoki hasn’t seen him for a very long time that maybe his view on this man has tilted a bit, he wasn’t sure, but he felt like the luckiest man anyway. Not that he would admit it out loud. 

“I’ve put away your yukata in the laundry, here, wear this."

“Yeah, thanks," Hijikata replied tiredly, taking the long cloth from Gintoki.

Gintoki watched him donning the white yukata, the night lamp made his room dark, low light illuminating Hijikata’s backside as he dried his hair. He knew it made Hijikata a bit uncomfortable since he dodged and avoid answering Hijikata’s queries before, but at the moment, he realized how stupid his worries were, and he can’t just tell that to the other can he? He’ll hurt his pride, plus, it didn’t matter anymore. It was just a stupid dream. Another worthless nightmare.

“Mayora c’mere." He gestured to Hijikata with his right hand while the other was holding the first aid kit box, of which he didn’t remember having but he has it.

“You know you just killed the mood right?” Hijikata squinted his eyes trying to see Gintoki in the dim light. 

“Oh, there was a mood? I didn’t notice, mind telling me what kinda mood do we have here?” Gintoki cocked an eyebrow with his infamous dead fish eyes looking up to Hijikata. 

“.. and I have a name,” he added with a whisper. Gintoki caught it anyway. Was that a sulk? Was the demon vice commander sulking? Did he think sulking like that makes him cute or something? Well, he was not wrong, and it took everything in Gintoki to not push him on the floor. 

Hijikata hesitated a bit, a hand still on the wound, frown etched in between of his eyebrows. He sighed, then walked towards Gintoki. 

In all honesty, it may be from the lack of sleep Gintoki has suffered these past weeks or the low light of the room, but dear all possible gods and deities and demons in existence, Gintoki almost swore by just looking at Hijikata wearing Gintoki’s white yukata with what he suspected nothing underneath them. Gintoki tried not to pay attention to how his heart stuttered a few beats before running a damn marathon the last time trying to win some Otsu-chan privileges for Shinpachi. Hijikata in his yukata did things to Gintoki and Gintoki Jr down south, he wanted to remember this for possible use in the future. 

The officer crouched down in front of Gintoki, as the silver-haired man beckoned him to come closer. So he did. 

“I’m aware. Sit here, I’ll take a look at that injury for you..,” He took a second for a dramatic effect, then leaned near to Hijikata’s ear, making sure his lips hovered just millimeters away from the ear shell.

“..Toushiro.” He continued, a satisfied smile stretched across his face seeing the red creeping up Hijikata’s nape. The demon vice commander almost jerked away from him but Gintoki has his hand firm on his shoulder, preventing him to move. Then, he gave a peck on the tiny dip where Hijikata’s hair laid flat, still damp from the shower before. 

The dark-haired man groaned a little from embarrassment, he turned around, his back towards Gintoki. “Just get it over with.” 

Gintoki had other ideas instead, he just pulled open the yukata and exposed a side of Hijikata’s body. “Are you still shy? We’ve done it a lot of times and you’re still embarrassed?’ He teased, whispering close to the mayo addict’s ear.

“Shut up and just get it over with, you shit perm pervert.’’ Hijikata sighed again, reaching for his cigarette pack, and push out a stick to light it up.

“Roger that vice commander-san,’’ Gintoki replied, taking out some alcohol and started to clean the wound. Hijikata shuddered a bit from the cold, a small tsk-ed he let out after feeling a sting of the cold swab. Gintoki couldn’t help but kiss the tiny dip just on his nape to ease the pain, even though he knew it wasn’t even that painful, heck the man had sustained worse injuries than this, they both did, but somehow a somewhat sick feeling that Gintoki cannot help but feel, knowing that a not-good-kind-of-pain he just inflicted on Hijikata. Though at the same time he was pretty damn proud of his damn mark, this one in particular because whatever Hijikata would do to try to hide it, he won’t be able to do it. Somehow he got a feeling that at this point in their relationship, Hijikata just didn’t give much a damn about shit like this. Not anymore. People would talk either way and Shinsengumi has gone through worse bullshit and rumors anyway. A sense of pride swelled inside his chest. 

“For some stupid reason I know you’re proud of that fucking mark, but I still don’t understand why you bit that hard. What are you trying to prove?’’ Hijikata said, breaking the quiet in the room. 

“I just want certain people to know that you already belong to someone,’’ said Gintoki with a shrug. He started to peel open a plaster to close the wound. 

Gintoki could feel a pause, a dawning realization coming to Hijikata, he could feel the forming deep crease in between his eyebrows. For some sick reason, cold sweat starting to trickle on Gintoki’s back, for fuck’s sake did he just fuck himself over? He did, didn’t he? Well, fuck. 

Then he felt Hijikata relaxed, he exhaled a smoke, taking his time. And to Gintoki, that was not a good sign, at least not for himself. 

“So you’re saying that you’ve been acting super weird because you were... jealous? I just came back and we literally met this afternoon, who the fuck are you being jealous over?’’ Hijikata shifted a bit backward, eyes glancing to the side. 

How the hell did this dense as fuck vice commander caught on too quickly? He was supposed to be stupider than Gintoki himself, what did he even know about jealousy? Why was Gin-san being so nervous about anyway? It wasn’t like v-bang has hit exactly on the nailhead. Although, he had hit the damn nail exactly on the head that it fell perfectly flat on the goddamn wood. 

“You know Oogushi-kun, swearing a lot does not make you any smarter,” Gintoki said casually, trying to hide his slight nervousness. 

“And you avoiding the goddamn question won’t mean I would let it go. More so now I know you are jealous, for some unknown reason.” Hijikata pressed on, knowing he was right. 

“If I am the one jealous, then why it bothers you so much then, huh, mayora?” Gintoki said, finishing up his work. He did not think too much about what he had just said, but he knew it was the right way to respond. 

Hijikata turned to him, frowning deeply with a face red like fire, his hand reached up to hold Gintoki’s jaw, then he gingerly kisses Gintoki sweetly on the lips, just to quickly turned back around. “It bothers me that you would even think I would do shit like this with other people.” He spoke with a voice so small, trying to hide his face behind his hands.

Gintoki was stupidly shocked by the unexpected timid reply that a fuse was just blown out in his fucking brain because “fuck— _Hijikata_..” his voice cracked, suddenly his throat felt dry. He couldn’t control it when he reached out to pull Hijikata into a wet kiss because of fuck!? How dare he do shit like that, he fucking knew how much of a child Gintoki was at heart and how he was reckless and impulsive and things like this just turned him the fuck on.

Just feeling Hijikata melt and writhed under his touch, with a face so damn lewd, it drove Gintoki fucking crazy he swore to whatever God and Deity, or Demon alike, “No. I can’t imagine what I would do if you show this kind of face to someone else other than me.”

Hijikata had tasted bitter of nicotine with a hint of peppermint, perhaps from the toothpaste Gintoki had, but the taste of Hijikata nevertheless. 

He could feel the officer smirk when they kiss, with Hijikata biting lightly on the top of Gin’s lip and give it another lick. “Yeah? You want me to guess just who you imagined me with?” Hijikata asked in between of kisses. 

“You dare?” the other samurai asked back, feeling confident to challenge the other man. 

Hijikata pulled his face to the side, mouth close to Gintoki’s ear, pulling the white-haired down with him. 

Gintoki’s lips and tongue found Hijikata’s skin again, while Hijikata’s brain sifting through the possible people that Gintoki might feel challenged with. And someone hit the mark the most and his gut just feels a heavy dread, so badly hoping he was wrong, but also somewhat excited to know what would happen if he was right. God, he wasn’t a masochist was he? Fuck.

He was panting, and he cursed again in his head because fuck, he just cleaned himself, and they’re doing it again? He knew how the diabetic man won’t stop because he never stopped once he got like this, and it was a futile attempt anyway if he told him to stop midway because damn it, he too was aroused.

Shit, his whole body was on fire again, contrast with the cold from the night in the room. Every skin that Gintoki touched just burned in a good damn way. That it actually became somewhat addictive. 

He was panting so hard when he blinked it took a while for him to adjust to the light because he felt so damn good, he almost couldn’t think. The name came to the tip of his tongue, it felt weird and disgusting to say in a moment like this but he was curious to see how would Gintoki react. He wasn’t sure if he was dumb to say it confidently though but, he would damn try.

He tried to even out his breath, so as to not accidentally moaned the name he had been meaning to say, worried if Gintoki would fuck him worse.

“Is it...’’ He breathed out, trying not to focus too much on the wondrous thing Gintoki was doing down south, so he ended up coughing out the name instead.

“..is it.. uh, Sougo?’’

And with that, every muscle and every single movement of the perm head came to an abrupt stop, like the whole damn world just crashed and time just did not exist, and the cold just hits Hijikata so damn badly in all the wrong reasons, he felt terribly guilty but at the same time anxious to what Gintoki would do.

Fuck, he really was right, and he hadn’t MEANT TO EVEN BE RIGHT, HE DID NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT, but this fucker.. this stupid dumb fucker had the audacity—

Gintoki just rose on his knees and flip over Hijikata, without warning he entered Hijikata with such force that literally took out Hijikata’s breath from his lungs. “W-wait.. wait! Yoro— _zuya_.” He moaned, his left hand finding Gintoki’s elbow but Gintoki just took both of his hands and pinned them on top of his head, ruthlessly pounding into him with a consistent rhythm, abusing his prostate over and over mercilessly.

When they were done, Gintoki fell limp on Hijikata, still breathing shallowly from the intense plunging he just did, a part of him feeling regret for being so damn rough for his old age, but who was he kidding, he knew he was exhausted because he finally let out all of the intense emotions that have been fucking with him for months, and the pent up energy in him not doing anything because he was goddamn emotional and distracted to even jack off.

“Get the fuck off you’re fucking heavy goddamnit.’’ Hijikata broke the silence, trying to push away the heavy log on his body, grunting while doing so.

But Gintoki didn’t budge, instead, he just hugged Hijikata, and sighing in content. He felt enormously fucking stupid for sure, but they both knew Gintoki would never admit it.

Hijikata just sighed and run his fingers through the soft curls of silver locks, lightly massaging the diabetic’s head, and closing his own eyes contentedly.

“You’re an idiot you know that?’’

Gintoki didn’t respond, he kept quiet, being stubborn.

And Hijikata sighed again.

“I don’t get why you would be jealous for no damn reason, even knowing full well him and I won’t be like that. I’m not sick enough to be his damn slave. And besides...” Hijikata stopped, even stopping his movements in Gintoki’s hair.

That made Gintoki look up to him, with those dead eyes of his, like he wasn’t expecting anything, but still curious enough to know what Hijikata was going to say.

“Just having you is enough to fuck me up all over, I don’t think anyone else can do that better than you.” Maybe he was beyond exhausted, maybe his body was too fucked and his brain already spilled somewhere that he had lost his goddamn mind to say it seriously and so smoothly, maybe it was the relief that this diabetic idiot was acting like his usual self, well, so far, somewhat. But Hijikata just did not have the energy to even deny and take back what he said because he really genuinely meant it. That was fucking crazy because even he hadn’t been sure about his feelings, but right this moment, he just did not care anymore.

He was goddamn tired that even saying that he was exhausted was not enough, he can feel his lids were heavy, the disgusting feeling because the damn bastard shot his load inside him, but he just couldn’t damn care. With what remaining consciousness he was able to muster, one last rub of that soft locks that just felt very therapeutic and calming for him. He was smiling so gently, hooded eyes staring back at those crimson eyes, that seemed expecting of him, he chuckled a little, eyebrows opposite of frowning, “After all, I’m already in love with you.” He said before passing out.

(Well what you need to know is that Gintoki is a blushing mess so damn shocked yet again, not seeing that coming, and he was like fuck this shit. I don’t deserve u but I want you anyway. Ah shit. I love you too. But Imma say it later when you’re awake.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you gu(a)ys for reading. pls leave nice comments and kudos if u like it.

**Author's Note:**

> this has a second part, but i need to edit em some more. it's a smut chapter tho. idk yet when i'll be able to post it, wish me luck.


End file.
